Fire away!

[waxbox]

Well, I've pretty much stopped roleplaying. I really shouldn't do it anymore. There's honestly no way to keep it clean. Even running my own game, I'd have to make sure there was very little cursing, no sexual content and characters would have to be married before they even kissed. No homosexual characters, and if I made it a heterosexual only game, people would cry discrimination without understanding why. Jehovah doesn't appreciate it and I don't either anymore. well, I'd probably kiss someone in real life but I wouldn't have sex. Especially with sagging flesh.

My cousin talked me into, well she sorta talked me into getting the gastric sleeve. I'm going to do it. I've been helping around the house more, trying to be less lazy. Eating less. It's a work in progress but I haven't given up yet, so that's a good sign. Usually by now I'd have a small mental break down about screwing up and end up stopping altogether. Knock on wood. I'm trying to walk too but my knee feels like crap.

I'm quitting smoking slowly but surely. I've taken myself down to one cigarette every hour, instead of 3 in a span of 45 minutes. Sometimes I'm smoking halves. I do know when they perform surgery on you, they want you to stop smoking for 3 or 6 months and lose fifty pounds. At least that's what my insurance wants.

I'm trying to stop cursing as well, but that's difficult. I've cut down a lot though.

Listening to Coheed & Cambria. Been a long time since I listened seriously. I plan on buying their older albums once I get an MP3 player in March. It honestly reminds me of Cam, an old friend of mine, somewhat. We were both big fans of the group. I'm 95% sure I got him hooked on the band. We had a hell of a lot in common, I think about him sometimes, on my own, without the voices in my head being assholes. It also reminds me of another old friend that became his ex-girlfriend. Pretty sure the band got him through the break up.

My Uncle Don is dying. I love him. He's a such precious peanut butter cup. He's in a lot of pain and I know he just wants it to be over. I get it. I'm happy but miserable in my own body, especially with these voices. If I had a gun I'd pull the trigger. Sure, I'd sit there and consider my life. What I'd be leaving behind, who I'd be leaving behind and all that but in the end, I'd know against Jehovah's wishes I'd wake up in a better world and wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. So, I get it. Why suffer when you can sleep? I don't want him suffering. I hope he passes away peacefully. He deserves it. He's been a good man. I hope Jehovah hears everyone's prayers and helps him through it.

That's it really. Any more serious updates will be done once I shed a decent amount of weight. Right now I can barely move without hurting and I'm dangerously close to being bed ridden, I want to stop it before it gets there. I can't live that way. I just can't.